This week is going to be hard.

A Time to be Selfish

I've spent a lot of time over the past three years devoted to all my boys. I sacrifice a lot of my free time to dealing with their many needs. I allow myself to get stressed out by taking on every little task I can so that they don't have to do as much. But for the next eight months, I'm going to be selfish. My birthday present to myself is to let them learn how to better care for themselves so that I have the time and willpower to take care of me. I've gained 30 freaking pounds over the past three years. That's insane! Ten pounds a year because I'm stressed out and turn to food to calm my nerves. The horrible thing is that I know the whole time what's going on, and I don't stop because I would rather harm myself than take it out on them. But, no more being a fat slob for me. I am going to take care of myself like never before, and on my 27th birthday, I'm going to be a healthy, happy 125 pounds. I know it is going to be hard. Very hard. I'm going to get grumpy and have silly mood swings for at least the first two months. But I think they'll just have to deal with it. I deserve better than this. Mike and the kids deserve better than this. After my birthday, I won't just be the sweet wife who, bless her heart she just tries so hard to be nice. I'll finally be respected for more than being nice. People will see that I really do care about myself. Okay, it's crazy late and I need to go to bed. Here's to a great tomorrow.